Letter from Jane Dutton, Newburn to John Wesley Hackworth

Newburn Feby 7th 1838

Dear John
It is not with the most enviable feeling I now sit down to write you these few lines as they will not altogether coincide with your wishes you will think me unkind in not writing sooner according to promise; not wishing to hurt your feelings I have put off doing so untill now I thought today I ought to write either one way or the other, all I can say at present is I shall ever respect you as a Friend or love you as a Brother, you know I was engaged and did I wish it I could not break it of altogether indeed John at present I have no wish to change my life, other feelings at this time occupy my mind, the Lord hath again seen fit to lay his afflicting hand on the Family I am sorry to say Brother Gilbert is very ill the Doctors have no hope of his recovery his lungs are affected and they say he cannot live long, the Lord hath a right to the life he gave I have no doubt but it is for some good end, but we feel it hard to submit to his will; Miss Stephenson of Throckly (my gray pony) but this is no time for jesting, she is ill, they are afraid of a consumption, now John what more can I say I hope in a short time you will forget that ever you loved me more than a sister, I shall ever feel grateful for the preference you have shown me, and may you find one more worthy your affections then the one who now addresses you, I am sorry if I have been the cause of any unhappiness to you, but this I would say John I think you are too young yet to think of marrying – forgive me for thinking so – and I shall ever be your

very affectionate and most
sincere friend
Jane Dunton

P.S. Burn this as soon as you read it I should not like a third person to see it.